In the frost-laden panorama of Sarajevo's winter, atop the roof of a humble hostel, I talk to Vasyl whose very essence captures the spirit of a Ukrainian man. The snow delicately frames his broad shoulders as he stands, a solitary figure against the grey sky, headphones around his neck — a testament to his love for music which he describes as "the strength to walk the path that I and the universe have chosen for me." Vasyl’s intense gaze, set against his weathered, bearded face, speaks volumes of his life’s journey — a narrative deeply entwined with the tumultuous history of his homeland, Ukraine.
As we stand in the chill of the Bosnian winter, I share the essence of my project, Essentially Man, which seeks to explore what it means to be a man in the modern world. I am particularly interested in how men from different cultures perceive their own masculinity in the face of changing global norms. Vasyl listens intently, the cold wind stirring his hair, as I express my desire to capture his insights and experiences as a Ukrainian man. He agrees to participate. It is an opportunity to voice his perspective, shaped by a lifetime of personal challenges and the historic upheavals that have rocked Ukraine.
Historical and Cultural Foundations of the Ukrainian Man and Masculinity
Drawing from Ukraine’s rich history, Vasyl's personal understanding of masculinity reflects both legendary influences like the Cossacks and the immediate realities of contemporary conflicts. This historical depth enriches his perspective, bridging personal experiences with the broader societal shifts impacting men today. "We have long had the 'Cossack' cult — this is a strong, unbroken, freedom-loving man."
The enduring legacy of the Cossacks, warriors who originated in the 15th century as a community of semi-military settlers in the borderlands of Ukraine, is emblematic of courage and freedom, profoundly shaping societal expectations of the Ukrainian man. Vasyl admires them not just for their physical prowess but for their resilience and independence, traits he strives to embody.
Contemporary Challenges in Ukrainian Masculinity
Additionally, the ongoing conflict with Russia has imposed profound challenges on Ukrainian society. While there is a traditional emphasis on men as protectors, the current circumstances have led some, like Vasyl, to observe shifts in the roles of both men and women. “The massive attack by the occupier in February 2022 changed the understanding of masculinity ... women, alongside men, defend our home.” Although women are legally allowed to serve and do participate, most combatants are men, many of whom are conscripted and have no choice but to fight.
Amid these national imperatives, where men are legally bound to defend their homeland, Vasyl finds himself grappling with the stark delineations of traditional gender expectations. This legal and cultural backdrop sets the stage for his own internal conflict, as he contemplates the personal implications of these enforced roles. This situation underscores the deeply entrenched roles where men are primarily seen as protectors and defenders of the homeland.
Vasyl’s own narrative adds a personal dimension to this broader societal challenge. "Right now, I am constantly tormented by feelings of guilt that I am not serving in the army," he admits, reflecting the deep-seated conflict between personal convictions and societal expectations. Importantly, Vasyl is prevented from serving due to a medical condition, which adds another layer to his internal conflict as he navigates these societal pressures and personal limitations.
Vasyl's insights into these dynamics shed light on the intense pressures and moral responsibilities that shape the contemporary understanding of masculinity in Ukraine.
The Essence of Ukrainian Masculinity
Vasyl’s story is not just his own but a vibrant echo of a nation’s soul, shaped by an evolving cultural identity. "To be a Ukrainian man means to go forward across darkness, fear, failure, loss, and pain ... because we must," he asserts. This perspective challenges traditional views by integrating both resilience and deep emotional insight.
Deeply influenced by his mother's teachings, Vasyl champions a vision of masculinity rooted in empathy rather than superficial judgments. 'My mother taught me to love people for their hearts, not their appearances,' he recalls. This foundational belief, he asserts, is where true strength lies — founded not just in physical might but in compassion and ethical integrity.
Set against the backdrop of Ukraine’s evolving social norms, Vasyl’s personal development is a testament to a broader societal shift toward a more refined understanding of masculinity. He values emotional intelligence highly and advocates for respecting personal boundaries, emphasising, "Respecting others' boundaries while not sacrificing your own is essential." This approach highlights a modern masculinity that cherishes integrity, emotional resilience, and meaningful relationships.
This evolving perspective is not without its detractors and supporters within Ukraine, as many still cling to traditional views while others, like Vasyl, advocate for a broader, more inclusive understanding of what it means to be strong.
Personal Identity and Challenges: The Ukrainian Man
Vasyl's personal narrative is marked by significant life events that have deeply influenced his understanding of masculinity. The early loss of his father introduced him to grief and responsibility, fundamentally altering his pathway to adulthood. Reflecting on this, Vasyl states, "I was born at the juncture of systems, to parents who were crushed by the communist system ... my father left this world when I was just ten years, so all the love I absorbed came from my mother." This circumstance accelerated his emotional development, embedding deep values of empathy and resilience in his masculine identity.
His mother's influence was pivotal, teaching him to value people's hearts over their appearances, a lesson Vasyl regards as central to his conception of masculinity. As he matured, the clash between societal expectations of stoic masculinity and his own more emotionally open stance presented ongoing challenges. Vasyl's dedication to balancing personal integrity with societal norms highlights his journey towards a masculinity that respects both strength and sensitivity.
Reflections on Gender Roles and Expectations in Ukraine
Reflecting on his journey through personal and societal battles, Vasyl observes that the evolution of gender roles in Ukraine could be reaching a pivotal juncture. His experiences underscore a re-evaluation of what masculinity entails. He notes a subtle shift from traditional stoicism to a growing acceptance of emotional expression without the diminution of a man’s strength, challenging long-standing norms: "Women and men are equal and different; social influence and physical characteristics make us different, and at the same time, we should be equal ... take responsibility for our actions and support each other."
Vasyl points out the frequent misunderstandings about men's emotional capacity within their families and communities, criticising the rigid stereotypes that often overshadow men's emotional depth. "Stereotypical views create expectations and absolve responsibility … this destroyed my family but it was built with a representative of another culture and moral values," he explains, illustrating the personal impact of cultural misconceptions (which could be a man’s leadership at home always manifesting as stern authority, for example). This reflection highlights how rigid stereotypes about masculinity can lead to a lack of understanding and appreciation for the emotional depth men possess.
Navigating Modern Masculinity
He goes further to describe the internal contradictions these stereotypes foster: "Where there are conflicting postulates ... where a man is supposed to be maximally strong but at the same time incapable of anything." This paradox, according to Vasyl, leads to significant personal and familial strife, manifesting as "constant grievances or devaluation, and humiliation."
Such reflections highlight the complex challenges men face as they navigate between upholding traditional masculine ideals and adapting to a broader, more inclusive understanding of what it means to be a man today.
Through these insights, Vasyl contributes to a necessary conversation about how men are perceived and the internal and external conflicts they navigate as expectations evolve. His thoughts offer a window into the personal struggles that accompany the broader societal shifts, providing a nuanced view of how men adapt to these changes while trying to remain true to themselves amid widespread cultural transitions. He expresses, "I try to find balance, but often my personal life takes precedence."
This pursuit of balance, often tipping towards personal life, reflects Vasyl's commitment to redefining strength as a blend of professional achievement and emotional well-being, challenging the traditional stoicism expected of men.
Vasyl's Advice to Other Men on Masculinity
Vasyl's journey through the complexities of modern masculinity has yielded insights that are both profound and practical, offering guidance to other men navigating similar paths. A core aspect of his advice centres on finding balance in life — between personal and professional responsibilities, and between fulfilling societal expectations and staying true to oneself.
He emphasises the importance of respecting boundaries, a principle he firmly stands by: "Respecting others' boundaries while not sacrificing your own is essential." Vasyl advises men to maintain their integrity and personal values even when external pressures demand conformity. This respect for personal boundaries not only promotes healthy relationships but also fosters self-respect and mental well-being.
Regarding emotional expression, Vasyl is vocal about the need for a cultural shift that provides men with more space to express their feelings thoughtfully. He reflects, "To cry is not a weakness, but the ability to acknowledge one's pain." By advocating for men to recognise their emotional side, Vasyl emphasises the importance of emotional regulation — expressing feelings in a manner that is considered and appropriate to the situation. This approach aims to cultivate an empathetic and understanding environment where men feel safe to show some vulnerability without fear of judgment or ridicule, while also maintaining respect and composure in their interactions.
For young men trying to find their path and identity in today's rapidly changing world, Vasyl offers this advice: "No matter what, no matter how hard it is to go on, go, and don't stop; build a home for yourself and for those you care for wherever you are and with what you have." He underscores the importance of perseverance and self-reliance, urging young men to continue striving towards their goals despite obstacles. This resilience, he believes, is key to building a fulfilling life that aligns with one's aspirations and values.
Through his reflections and advice, Vasyl seeks to encourage a generation of men who are balanced, respectful of both themselves and others, and unafraid to express some emotion. This, he proposes, is the foundation for forging a robust identity that withstands the pressures of modern societal expectations while contributing positively to the world around them.
Conclusion: The Ukrainian Man, Masculinity, and Beyond
Through the lens of Vasyl's life, we glimpse the evolving soul of Ukrainian masculinity — a blend of enduring strength and emerging sensitivity. His story, set against the backdrop of Ukraine’s ongoing challenges, exemplifies the courage to redefine masculinity amid changing times. As a Ukrainian man, Vasyl teaches us that true strength transcends physical might, weaving empathy and emotional awareness into the fabric of modern masculinity.
In sharing his journey, Vasyl challenges each of us to reflect on our own definitions of strength and vulnerability. His experiences encourage us to embrace a fuller spectrum of masculinity, one that respects tradition while fostering personal growth and emotional depth.
As we consider Vasyl's words and the paths he has walked, we find a powerful call to action: to explore and express our own identities with authenticity and courage. His life doesn’t just narrate a personal saga — it inspires a collective reimagining of what it means to be resilient, compassionate, and truly strong in today's world.